Introducing my very own line of NFTs!
If Trump can fool people into spending large sums of money on junk, why can't I?
I find myself inspired, not for the first time, by the former President of the United States.
While others mock him for teasing a “big announcement” and then – instead of announcing a running mate for his incipient 2024 run or coming out with a brave and bold new policy statement – he used all the attention he got to introduce a line of nonfungible token cards.
(Not sure what “nonfungible” means – I think it means you can’t grow fungus on them.)
Needless to say, I felt “the muse” drop onto my surgery-scarred noggin like an anvil on the coyote in a Road Runner cartoon.
Like the former president, whose cards show him at various stages in his career – pro wrestler, cowboy, spaceman, jet pilot, elephant rider, and so on – I also will draw upon my illustrious career to illustrate all the amazing things I’ve never done but may as well take credit for because why not?
Golly, I wish we had room to show you the images I’ve selected for my cards. But we don’t. So, use your imagination.
The first card recalls the day in 1215 when I wrote and signed the Magna Carta, the first document to put into writing the principle that the king was not above the law.
On the second card, a graphic representation of me, quill pen in hand, editing the 95 theses that sparked the protestant reformation movement in 1517. (Sure, Martin Luther got the credit because he’s the guy that nailed the paper to the church door, but I loaned him the hammer and nails.)
On the third card, you will see me sitting at the Continental Congress in 1776, both writing and signing the Declaration of Independence. (Look carefully and you will notice Thomas Jefferson looking on with an expression of abject scorn on his face.)
You will love the fourth card which shows Orson Welles serving me a snifter of brandy as I finished the script for “Citizen Kane,” which is widely recognized as one of the greatest movies of all time. You’re welcome!
Another card depicts the day I turned over the manuscript for my newly-completed “War and Peace” which is known the world over as a panoramic study of early 19th-century Russian society, noted for its mastery of realistic detail and variety of psychological analysis and is generally regarded as a masterwork of Russian literature and one of the greatest novels ever written if you believe what it says on the Encyclopedia Britannica website.
And where the former president was practically giving away his NFT for a measly $99 each, mine are available for the low, low, this week only price of $98 each – three for $350.
Interested, and how could you not be?
For one thing, they’re not actual playing cards with edges that could cause painful paper cuts if your children don’t choke on them first. They’re DIGITAL! That means they’re COOL, even if they don’t actually exist!
Check out my website www.afoolandhismoney.com for details on how you can order.
They make excellent presents. For me, I mean. The money, that is.
Act now before they’re gone forever.